When you have agreement from dad and mum,but you still need to consider of should i or shouldn't i...This is a really hard decision.I wish i just go spontenously,by now i already home or i already in London.But too bad this is me who likes to think too much:(
I thought i wouldn't tell her,in the end i told her everything.These are us,we have no secret among us.I love you all always,my dearest sister!!!Just wish that all of us doing good,and doing better and better:)Nothing can changed the relationship between us....
Yesterday,after so long,finally got a chance to chat with Khong Ming for few hours,like i told him,walao eh,we talked longer than couple did,luckily his wife knows me,or else,Khong Ming will be in big trouble.He was telling me 3 is good number,said so many idioms in chinese use 3,then i told him i am the 3rd at home,so i am the lucky one.
I know i am,as i always said!!!b Just because of PL wanna buy a camera,in the end i got the camera.Thanks mum for being so lovely,at first mum called me middle of the night,told me to go home,i really want to fly home by Uzbekistan airways tonight 9pm just now,but deep in my heart i know i shouldn't spend money like that,i wish i could see mum smile happily,i know she will,definetly she will smile unitl can't see her eyes.But i know i shouldn't,due to so many factors.
I told Wen about i am going home,she was quite upset,i know she will,if i were her,i will also be so sad.I didn't get to go home for so long.I wish i could be there for her in London,at the same time i know i got so many unread books to read.Yiyi is right,she said i should sit down and study when the first thing i told her i got 3 weeks holiday due to Swine flu.Then after that she passed the phone to mum,my initial intention was to call mum and dad ask them can i go to London,then i told mum,can't say too loud because Yiyi just told me that i need to stay back and study.I know she advise me for my goodness sake.
I miss home so much,i know i couldn't go back,but if i go UK,at least i got Siew Wen,i miss Ming Hui,Sook Har,Ivy and Vinvie so much.WHen some problems arise,only girl friends will understand one.But i know i couldn't be too emotional.Life still need to go on.
Today got a present from my housemate.So surprised and lovely,eventually i have forgotten about this culture,last time i used to buy them one thing at least whenever i go out without them.Now i have made into habit of not buying them things,have been such a long time since i last bought present for them.I am so sorry:(
While searching for tom yam paste,i found out mum sent me Lee Kum Kee"char siew" sauce,send me vegetable pickles,i know mum loves me so much and i know she missed me a lot.I wish i could hug her and sleep if i were home:(
Yesterday morning,before leaving to class,i called my mum,talking to her and telling her about camera and about his stories.Then mum suddenly said something really remind me that i need to study hard,she said you know how to earn money,so that wouldn't be a problem.She is right,i must know how to earn money,give to her,daddy,to my sisters and of course to my beloved brother.
Yesterday i did nothing praticularly,after class 12.13pm,went shopping with Zoey,took our own sweet time,girl's shopping,If Alvin will be there,fast fast,hehe.Then reach home around 1.45pm,then chatted with him though the phone,then book our winter trip-Something that i looking forward to,my christmas market trip,basically everywhere i go due to the christmas market.I know i gonna love them,but i am worry of unbearable cold and also feel a bit guilty.But i had a long long long chat with Alvin since he came back till the night.
It's really fun,it has been quite sometime we didn't do so,seating and talking and talking about everything,about relationship,about some point of views towards certain thing.One of our topic is educated better ot less educated is alright,both of us still think that educated is the best,compare his uncles and aunties....
At night,went to 2 open houses,one is for Deepavali,one is for Aidilfitri one,both of the food are superb,too full.Found out some surprise fact...Eventually got someone who doesn't want to go back home after finished studying here.I really i wish i could be like her,but am i dare,if i no need to worry about financial i will just go ahead,really.I will.I know it's only how many percentage for me to get something out there,but i still wanna give a try,i know it's not easy at all,but really i wish i could.
So many unachieved things that i supposed to achieve.....get myself a kick!!!
I felt so tired mentally.I don't know so many things.This afternoon when i read Siew Wen's email,i was crying.Poor sister that need to work because of money and learn to support herself.I am lucky compare to them,even the youngest one Ming Ming also went through all these harsh life before.Next year when i start working,so many for me too learn.I have been pampared all these while.I want it the way i want it to be.
But so many "don't know" in me....i just finshed skyping with Siew Wen,felt so lost....don't know what am i doing,reading,heading to....she is so excited to talk to me,but i am so just don't know how,don't know how to tell her to be strong,don't know how to tell myself that i can give her money to spend and etc...i wish i could...but again...i don't know....
Tired and tired....heading no where.Though i am in my final year,but so many don't know and worry around me,i wish i could....if i know this...if i know that....eventually i don't know about all these before all things happened....
Just wished and cross finger that life will be beautiful....same to everyone that i love...
Today i have been angry to so many things that occured,i look tired and eventually,i felt so irritated by so many things.Though you are saying from your point,but i am looking from my point.I still believe what i believe,though it may be wrong,though it may be right.But just the heart to protect my dearest one:(
Today i got a shocking news from Zoey,how come such a thing exist in the world,thing which is not exist but been talking by people as if it exist.I really so angry!!!But never mind,Siew Wen said that don't be like the person so shallow,i agree with that.Nothing can disturb us when we are doing everything correct.
Today I go and help him clean his room,only little thing that i managed to do,i wish i could help him more:(
Evening went to learn baking Russian style of cake from downstairs Aunty.It was really fun,she told and demonstrate to me at the same time.She is worried that i don't understand,she kept on repeating.Then both of us catch up with each other,i knew her since i was in 1st year,we used to be so closed when she helped us clean the house,after that she got married and stayed in another city because her husband was there,now she is back because of her job,there is job available for her here.Both of us catch up with each others like long lost friend,i really had so much of fun.
Suddenly aunty started crying,she said she didn't get to see us anymore after we left.She cried for quite long.I hugged her,saying thank you to her for has been helping us a lot since first year,really grateful to meet her,helped us pay electricity,helped us pay telephone bill,helped us find people to repair when something spoilt.I felt really grateful,when she cried,i felt sad too.....
Human is just interesting!!!!
A short weekend break,it was fun though the weather was really wet and damp.But we had fun buying stuff from vietnamese market.I saw 'Siao Bai Chai" and also 'Choi Sum",i wish i am studying there.My mum no need to send me so many vegetables.I told Ma Ney about this,Ma Ney said you can go once a month to buy it.How come they don't sell it in Simferopol???
If i discover this earlier,i really would go there for green vegetables.Just now we boiled it and eat with noodles.It's really good.Green vegetables is really good.
I had my favourite Gelato in Karavan shopping center,though it's not as good as Italy one but i can have it in Ukraine,no complaint else.
It's a lovely and enjoyable trip being taken well care by someone.Thanks for all the luxuries and stress free that i got!!!
I was searching for song in you tube,come across this song.Still remembered vividly,last time i love to sing this song so much and my dearest Er Jie played piano.I miss those time so much.She will be playing piano,others will be singing and telling which song we want to sing.
I was scrolling my document to find case report,then i found this song which Ivy sent me in my received file.I love this song so much,i miss Ivy and Vinvie so much whom love the song as well!!!
This song is so hopeful and touching!!!
